These days, good just isn’t good enough, and if you want to create hype and ensure sales you’ll need the best adjectives in the English language. The best-of-the-best, without a doubt, is “magical” and mentioning it a few dozen times has recently been proven to be an effective sales strategy.

That shady fellow on the street? He’s actually quite enterprising–if you encounter him, don’t be surprised if he’s resorted to the same tactics…