Gender Bender
Despite the World of Warcraft context, this comic is actually an homage to the Mario Kart DS games automaton and I play at lunch every day at work. We’ve been doing this for three years.
Over time we’ve engaged in a meta game. Because the person in 8th never has to finish the race (and because we play with a guy whose only goal while gaming is to be a dick) we have one guy who drives backwards on the track each race. His job is to wait in specific spots where we will be vulnerable and fuck us over with stars, lightning, bullets, and super mushrooms. It’s a similar form of the Wii version’s rubber band effect, which speeds up people who are further back to equalize the skill level of all the players. The only difference is our guy going backwards isn’t interested in fairplay, just dirty play. His favourite track is Choco Mountain, where there is a C-shaped turn before the finish line that starts at a low elevation at the beginning of the C, follows a loooooooong path around gradually increasing in elevation to it’s peak: the end of the C. Because there are no barriers anywhere on this small loop and the middle is filled with water, we are vulnerable at all times on this loop. But he waits. He waits until we’re just at the top the knocks us off with a mushroom so we have to drive all the way back up. He cackles when it’s the final lap, when you’re in 7th and he knocks you off over and over while everyone else is done the race. His cackle sounds like maniacal glee, but it’s similar to loons on a lake in that when you hear it you know: “this is the sound of something doing what it is supposed to be doing.” Like good programs in the Matrix.
The other meta game we engage in name changes. “Dickrider” is probably our most notorious. It was given a player as a joke where he was renamed without him knowing. He decided to own it, and made himself a theme song that was really just a chorus that sounded somewhat like the chorus from The Eagles Desperado. DiiiiiiiIIIIIiiick RiiIIIIIiider~
Currently our among our names are “CockChef” “CockHungry” and “ladyparts.” CockHungry doesn’t fit while racing so it just becomes “CockHung.”
It’s going to be a good day.
Discussion (16) ¬
So is this a real phenomenon? Are men compelled to have screen names related to the male sexual organ? Is that why it’s sometimes called a “handle”? :P
Loving the backwards sexism in this comic ;) “Only girls could be so inventive” :D
Online war is a bit like real life. When you defeat all the Cocks of the rival clan, you take their woman. Proper screen names allow this tradition to perpetuate.
i think we do it just because it’s the easiest way to get anyone, including men, to think about our penis. it’s a real problem.
There’s a legit porn named “Malice in Wonderland” starring the talented Sasha Gray
Coming up with porn titles is probably one of the most creative jobs one can have.
You need some better examples of inventive names. Slapping a celebrity name into a bad pun is no more clever than your average dick joke.
i disagree. dick jokes are clever.
Perhaps, but it does serve to make the second round of names pop, though.
Just watch yourself. We’re wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
he’ll be careful.
he’ll be dead
you’re awesome.
Oh man! There’s such creativity in this! I love it! One of the best comics thus far! I’ll pop your cherryhorses tonight diiiiiiickk riddeeeerrrr(s)
I’m sorry; your story is just too gay
Super gay? Or, metro-sexual-looking-while-touching-hands-and-kissing-cheeks gay?
i think he means gay like, in the bum. it’s your fault, really. get off the site.