You all have a personalized list of things your parents told you to keep you “safe.”

  • The crust of the bread is the most nutritious part
  • Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis
  • There’s a troll inside your penis to prevent you from having premarital sex

Not true.

Still, you should eat properly. On a few occasions I’ve been forced to convince others to eat properly to avoid nutrition disorders. You know what disease scares those people the most? Mental retardation. Did you have breakfast this morning? Did you have a serving of bright orange vegetables yesterday? Three servings of cruciferous vegetables last week? AS QUICK AS YOU CAN IN YOUR MIND: 17 x 12 = ?

More than five seconds? Shoulda eaten your carrots~