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I’d like you to meet my friend StumbleUpon. StumbleUpon likes all the same things you like. Specifically, it likes what you tell it to like. And it surprises you; not with flowers or blowjobs, but with kittens, free Game Boy Games online, videos of “Bruce Lee” playing ping pong with a nunchuck, and plenty of this:

[Source: Hololz.com]

All you have to do is click this link and enter your email, make a user name, choose a password, and tell it your birthday. You can lie about your birthday. Then you pick your interests. You’re going to want to pick these:

Now click stumble. If you like something, click Like.

Remember that when you click “Like” you create a feeling inside someone’s heart that is akin to when Indy saves all those children in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Their tiny feet kicking the cutlery and table decorations, hands raised in triumph and freedom.

A rapturous parade.

Each Like makes webmasters children again, running to look at their website traffic every morning day and night. Won’t you give the gift of Christmas?

Feel free to follow me on StumbleUpon. I share purposefully. My Likes are my bond.

If you’re logged in you can even Stumble more efficiently from websites. Ever notice that share button all over the web? That’s world peace. You know what you have to do.

Click that, click StumbleUpon, then click “Yes” safe for work, then click “Humor.” There. Now laughter lives forever.