These days, good just isn’t good enough, and if you want to create hype and ensure sales you’ll need the best adjectives in the English language. The best-of-the-best, without a doubt, is “magical” and mentioning it a few dozen times has recently been proven to be an effective sales strategy.
That shady fellow on the street? He’s actually quite enterprising–if you encounter him, don’t be surprised if he’s resorted to the same tactics…
I live in Canada. I love this country, but I hate the price of internet here. Maybe I’m asking for too much: I want fast internet with uncapped and no shaping goodness for a reasonable price. You can’t find that here. For example, Bell throttles all torrents between 4pm and 2am. So your torrent, legitimate (Linux anyone?) or not, will drop to 20kb/s during these hours. It’s the most annoying thing in the world, and I would like to punch them in the face.
Then there’s TekSavvy. Independent, new, they offer 10 mbps down, 1 mbps up with unlimited transfer, and presumably no traffic shaping for $55 plus the cost of a modem (~$75). This isn’t bad, though I dislike the fact that you can’t go higher than 10 mbps. I expect people will tell me they have DSL offerings which are cheaper and faster, but I’m no fan of the phone line. I like things in a tube. Also they don’t offer anything else, like wireless, so I can’t bundle my services and save, which I’m a fan of doing.
There’s only one more option in my area: Rogers. In Canada, having the privilege of three choices for internet means you’re spoiled. Most areas have two, or one. Anyways Rogers has a bunch of plans, but their Ultimate, while sporting a hefty 50mbps down and 2 (what the fuck?) mbps up, costs $99/mo. In addition, you have to get their SUPER SPECIAL fuck you in the ass modem which is also more money, and has a router/wireless built in. That doesn’t help me, because I have my own routers. Yes, I have two. I need them. Also, Ultimate only has a 175gb cap.
So let’s do the bandwidth math here. 50mbps is (maximum) 22.5gb per hour transfer speed. With a 175gb cap, you can effectively use your internet for 8 hours before you go over the cap. While I’m sure those would be the best fucking 8 hours of your life, are they serious? There is no unlimited bandwidth option either. Rogers is also known to shape your traffic, though so far they have left me alone.
I’m with Rogers. I called them asking for more bandwidth, and told them I refuse to upgrade to the special needs modem. Apparently, there’s no way. I’m stuck with my package, and my bandwidth cap. So I guess I’ll just end up paying extra for bandwidth over-usage each and every month.
If the ghost of Ted Rogers is reading this then I have a message for you: one time I spit gum on your ugly road, so I win, you pricey bastard.
I thought the most effective sales strategy was to place an “i” before your product name! lol
oh ya, that seems to work too, but is there still a risk of a lawsuit? that’s never a good thing.
took forever to figure this one out.
confusion is a bad thing. i think you didn’t like the “in this here van” part. was there anything else?
lol windows fanboys