Johnny Stumpyhands Part 2
Johnny Stumpyhands needs your help. And I’m not talking about eating and grabbing things. Johnny’s debut a couple of weeks ago performed poorly. Look at those stumpy hands. Look at that mouthless sorrow. Johnny might be able to sing a lovely rendition of Ave Maria and he might be able paint the picture that creates world peace, but if this week’s comic also performs poorly we’ll never know.
Love him. Peer into those bulbous eyes that have to express what it is like to smell free samples, but never taste them. Are you going to stop us from telling stories of inevitable triumph? Tell your friends about Johnny’s story if he tickles you. Otherwise his songs and stories will see white shores … and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
It’s hard to feel sorry for him with all that sweet hair.
Are you … a monster? I think we just became new best friends :D
This was funnier than the first one, Awesome job guys :D
Yours is the only approval we need sir
I love him already!!!
And we can’t love you back enough for that
Yeah I agree… he strikes me as one of those guys whos sad ” ’cause it gets him chicks…” Like day to day, his life is pretty good despite his obvious deformity… Maybe his dad is super rich and his mother is super loving and supportive… but he goes around all mopey like to get some action…
Clearly you don’t know a tragic figure when you see one. Either that or we are woefully bad at portraying one. HE HAS NO HANDS AND NO MOUTH. HE KNOWS NOT KISSES NOR THE FEEL OF A BANANA CRUSHING IN HIS FINGERS.
The last thing we should think when we look at him is “you know, he’s never had a paper cut in the web of his fingers. What a pimp.”
Not only has he never had a paper cut on the web of his finger… but he has also never had to visit the dentist, slammed his finger in a car door OR had to fear losing a finger for failing the Yakuza!
Perhaps the real tragedy is that he appears to live in Canada
Bazinga! All the creators live in Canada, but we’re too polite to take anything but delight in our jab at us.