Recently automaton told me that cheese gives him nightmares if he eats it before bed. As I laughed in his face, he told me his friend had the same problem, and they, united in sleepy-time fear of milk-based products, confirmed their experiences together on Yahoo! Answers. Such is the birthplace of fact.

I don’t really remember the last celebrity-related dream I had. But I would never dream of Emma Watson. I seem to be alone in this opinion. Give me Shania Twain or Jessica Biel any day.

But Jodie Foster? Or Martha Stewart? Goddamn. You wouldn’t have sex with them, they would have sex with YOU. Gotta say, that’s a terrifying, oddly intriguing thought.