At some point during Alan Wake’s quest for his wife he wakes up in an insane asylum. The doctors try to convince him that the entity called the “darkness” that pursues him, and the shadowy townspeople he’s been gunning down aren’t real. You know, that old trick. Eventually Alan escapes and the darkness blocks the gate to the parking lot. Barry, Alan’s agent, is on the other side of the gate and shouts, “Don’t worry Alan, just go through the hedge maze, I’ll wait for you right here!”

Really? A hedge maze in an insane asylum? Every reason I imagine for the hedge maze’s purpose is cruel. What, a test after years of hard work, therapy and a struggle to distinguish reality from fantasy? “Now get through the maze.” Do they feed them in there but keep the food sealed in tupperware containers so they can’t follow their nose? “We try to combat the mind with the body. Through hunger patients will find their sanity.”

Or what, fucking decoration? It’s just … you could have put that hedge maze anywhere in the game guys. Think of the crazy people.