If I told you how I really felt about Final Fantasy VII, I would have to show you on the doll where the game touched my heart, my no place, and every single one of my yes places.
Maybe that’s as truthful as I should get.
It’s not one thing that makes FFVII so special to so many people – it’s a plethora of wonderful things. Usually when I talk to people about Final Fantasy it invariably becomes a discussion of “which one is the best?” (Motorcycles smashing through windows > Cutting off hair with dagger) But really all this debate does is prevent us from talking about what makes each Final Fantasy remarkable.
Like the melancholic depths of each character’s story in FFVII. I hate Cid, but was always moved by his back story. He lives in a town where his failed dreams are metaphorically and literally visible from his window, looming over his day-to-day life. Don’t even get me started on the woman that lives with and loves him like a wife, but never shares so much as an embrace or kind word with him.
I’m getting something in both my Goddamned eyes, all right?
Today’s comic is a variation on one of the four date sequences in Final Fantasy VII. Somewhere I have a save game file that will load up to the beginning of each them, which, tragically, took 14 hours a piece and precluded YouTube. Basically, playing as the main character Cloud you could go on a date with one of the three girls: Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, and if you played the game just right, Barret.
Sorry non-FFVII players that tiny explanation and the video below is all you get. This comic is for the other people whose chests swelled as they read my extremely disturbing introduction with the doll. I love you. Hold my fucking hand.
Regular internal combustion cars are the devil, and hybrid vehicles are guilt-free driving. This is the message the auto industry is telling us right now. Oddly though, there was a plethora of regular gasoline engines which got better gas mileage than even the best hybrid vehicles (thanks to Fark for the inspiration) available today, and they cost less. For example:
1980s Honda Civic CRX
V.S.
2012 Toyota Camry Hybrid
The Camry has the best gas mileage out of the hybrid cars at 41mpg (5.7L/100km) combined. Sounds pretty good. The 1989 Honda Civic CRX has a gas mileage of 44mpg (5.3L/100km) combined. What the fuck?
Why would the auto industry spend billions of dollars over the last 10 years to develop “gas efficient” (hybrid) cars, when they already had cars that were more gas efficient in the 80s? I’ll tell you why:
1. Weight. Over the years, cars have increased in weight. One reason for this is that the safety regulations over the years have changed, and it requires better and heavier safety equipment to meet. However, if the auto industry was willing to spend billions into developing an entire and very complicated new engine type, why were they not willing to spend the money into weight reduction?
2. Manual Transmission. Manual transmissions were more popular in the past, and manual allows drivers to be far more gas conscious. If you’re accelerating towards a red light, you’re doing it wrong.
3. Consumer Greed. Let’s be serious here, power windows, DVD players for your offspring, and sunroofs are not necessary in a car. While I’m sure the auto industry could put effort into making this items weigh less, the real problem is that the consumer became greedy.
4. Auto Industry Greed. This is the biggest one. The original price of the 1989 Honda Civic was $6,385. Price adjusted to 2010, this would be $11,082. Why would the auto industry want you to pay such a low price for high gas mileage, when instead they they can charge a lot more for a hybrid?
We have gone backwards with cars, and yet the industry calls it progression. How embarassing.
Apparently, it’s still Halloween and Valve has given us a very sweet treat for the eyes: the official Dota 2 comic titled, “Are We There Yet?” Check it out at: http://www.dota2.com/comics/are_we_heroes_yet/
It’s difficult to find people who have unconditional love for Game Boy music (or Game Boy for that matter). If you had video games as a kid you probably had Nintendo. Game Boy was supposed to be a supplementary system kids took on trips, but it was my primary system for a long time.
That’s OK, though. I loved that Game Boy. The games were cheap enough that getting new ones wasn’t impossible if I worked at it. I would either save allowance dollars one week at a time, trade my current games in for new ones, and then there was that garage sale where I sold all my He-Man action figures and several Ninja Turtles and bought The Flash.
Selling my possessions was probably how I got most of my games. I didn’t have the patience to save for for twenty weeks and lacked that ingenuity to mow lawns or help old ladies with chores for quarters. Trading games made each purchase more meaningful because it meant giving something away first.
In that sense, The Flash was probably my first disappointment. It gave you unlimited continues and I beat it in one night – most games weren’t like that. I spent years chipping away at Battletoads. Getting to that 8th stage was stressful. Dying there meant starting all over again. When I finally beat the game I put it down for good.
But when you only have so many games you spend time appreciating them. The Flash‘s gift is that your fearlessness encourages you to go as fast and as recklessly through stages as possible. Whether the game was easy or difficult it was usually the ones with the best soundtracks that I kept around. Going back to them now you could say the source of every nostalgic erection I have originates from this playlist.
Some Game Boy music was just recycled NES music and easily forgotten. But certain games like Metroid IIwere composed so thoughtfully they became memorable franchise history.
Across all my gaming experiences Game Boy titles were the longest. I got stuck in Final Fantasy Adventure for like three years. I was in the desert and this kid told me he would give me a hint on how to find the desert palace. I hate that kid. “Palm trees and 8 … got it?” I went back to that game off and on for years attempting all those bat-shit crazy ideas we try when we get desperate in puzzle games. I would go to the screen with palm trees arranged in an eight formation and hit the center eight times, I would charge my weapon to full strength eight times and attack that center spot, I would try hitting it with eight different weapons, I would leave and re-enter that screen repeatedly hoping to see eight enemies appear, and of course, I tried killing the kid in eight swings. But mostly, I would just walk around the whole world killing enemies, hoping to stumble into a clue. I leveled my character as far as he would go. It wasn’t until my Father introduced me to “the internet” I solved it.
“What can you do with the internet?” I asked him. “Well,” he replied, “say you wanted to know something. Just type it into Altavista and it will probably have an answer for you.”
There was only one question I’d ever had that I’d never solved. I typed: “Palm trees and 8 … got it?” A page came up that told me to walk around these two palm trees in an eight formation.
I killed that kid once more before I continued and beat the game.
So here’s a YouTuble music playlist of all those games I once owned, struggled with, loved, traded away, as well as music titles from games I included as honorable mentions. Let me know if there are some great tunes or games I missed.
I remember in university I stumbled across the music for the Southern Shrine. A friend of mine came to my room while I was listening to it and I told him that the scene in Link’s Awakening for this music was a magical experience. I tried to relate the scene to something he’d understand. “It’s like Plato’s Allegory of the cave,” I told him. “You find a cave that has no item, or dungeon, or quest, or reason to go there. It merely has an inscription on the wall that suggests your reality as you perceive it might not be correct.” He laughed at me and said, “What, did they just throw something under your rock every once in awhile to keep you happy?”
I wish they had thrown more game experiences like that under my rock. Then again, that might diminish moments like that one.
To the finder, the isle of Koholint is but an illusion… Human, monster, sea, sky… a scene on the lid of a sleeper’s eye… Awake the dreamer, and Koholint will vanish much like a bubble on a needle… Cast-away, you should know the truth!
Since May 2008, our Sun has had an extremely low number of sunspots. This activity has been covered a number of times. There have been other changes in the Sun as well, which you should know about. Here is a summary from Wikipedia:
It is in the midst of an unusual sunspot minimum, lasting far longer and with a higher percentage of spotless days than normal; since May 2008.
It is measurably dimming; its output has dropped 0.02% at visible wavelengths and 6% at EUV wavelengths in comparison with the levels at the last solar minimum.
Over the last two decades, the solar wind’s speed has dropped by 3%, its temperature by 13%, and its density by 20%.
Its magnetic field is at less than half strength compared to the minimum of 22 years ago. The entire heliosphere, which fills the Solar System, has shrunk as a result, resulting in an increase in the level of cosmic radiation striking the Earth and its atmosphere.
If you’re too lazy to read all of that, then here’s a nice picture and histogram from NASA which sums up the problem:
Cycle 24 Sunspot Prediction
Spotless Days
So, why do you care about all this nonsense? Well, there’s only three ways that this whole thing can play out.
The sunspots slowly return, and hopefully the increase in greenhouse gases from climate change doesn’t cause too many problems as the heat returns. This isn’t so bad an option.
The sunspots return in a burst of solar activity, causing a CME. This will result in mass destruction to our power grids and electronics, similar to what happened in the solar storm of 1859. This would suck, but I wouldn’t mind the lack of Justin Bieber baby news for a few months.
The sunspot activity does not return, and we enter another Maunder Minimum. This would invariable lead to another global cool-down, and probably a small ice-age. If it persisted, it could possibly cause a bigger ice age. This would suck.
It will be an interesting few years.
[Update Nov 3rd, 5:30pm] It seems that one of the biggest sunspots on record has caused an X-class solar flare (the largest kind), along with a CME. Fortunately, it was not directed at earth. You can see the info about it here, and know that I got the information from spaceweather.com.